A Prayer Request

Sometimes God hits me right between the eyes with what must be a 2x4. Apparently I have a pretty hard head and need this occasional whack to get my priorities straight. I got one of those beatings Wednesday night.

All day Wednesday, Emily, who is now 22 months old, was being a real challenge. She has been diagnosed with a speech delay (basically, she doesn't talk and we don't yet know why 0r if it's really a problem or just something temporary). What I do know is that she and I are both frustrated because it makes communication pretty difficult, as if it wasn't bad enough trying to interpret a toddler's wants and needs. Add to this fact that she is the classic "strong-willed child" and the frustration quickly leads to a powder-keg of temper tantrums.

So we started off Wednesday morning with her speech therapy. She's been doing well (it mostly consists of playing with the therapist and learning some sign language.) She knows how to sign "More", "All done", "Help" and "Open". She's also learning "thank you", "cookie" and "I love you". She uses more and all done all the time and so when she got frustrated (she must have gotten out of bed frustrated that morning) she would sign "All done", even when we had just started our activity. Half-way through the session, Emily was getting tempermental, so we pretty much just gave up for the day and let her play so she could cool down.

After therapy, Emily and I ran to Walmart to do our grocery shopping. Things were fine until we got in the store. I dared to try to put Miss Em in a shopping cart (like we always do) and strap her in (recent attempts to give her some freedom have backfired because she now tries to climb into the back of the cart, or out altogether). This resulted in a tremendous temper tantrum and a subsequent spanking before we even got past the cart area of Walmart. Who knew toddlers had so much strength, by the way? She ended up strapped in and we made it in and out in record time.

Then we came home and ate lunch. I got Emily some macaroni and cheese (a favorite) and some fish sticks and gave her her food to eat. Well, my best guess is that she was a little tired and highly frustrated with trying to use the fork, so after flinging her drink and fork a few times, she finally threw her plate across the room in what can only be described as a fit of rage. This of course made her cry harder, only this time it wasn't tears of anger and frustration but of sadness because now she didn't have any food. (Ah the brilliant logic of a toddler.)

After a tantrum and yet another spanking over a diaper change, I finally got Emily to take a nap. I sat down at the computer and started looking for any information on speech delays and how to ease frustration and on support groups in our area for parents of "challenging" kids. Seriously, things weren't going well and I was feeling down and depressed and sorry for myself. I was also feeling like a terrible mom for not knowing how to do my job better.

That evening, I had to go to church for worship team rehearsal. (I either sing or play the piano at least 2-3 times a month.) I was still feeling sorry for myself and then I saw "Sally" (I won't use her name out of consideration for her privacy). "Sally" is a wonderful lady, about my mom's age, that I met and became friends with when we started going to church there about 6 years ago. "Sally" also plays the piano, and since there are always 2 of us playing together, we've gotten to know each other fairly well. We became even closer when I got pregnant with Emily because her daughter also ended up getting pregnant, due a month later than me. "Sally", her daughter and I all had a bit of a bond over our babies and so we did what all moms do...we compared our pregnancies.

"Sally's" daughter ended up having her little boy 3 days before me. (She was early and Emily was 2 weeks late). I remember being jealous because I was still pregnant and she had already had her baby, but happy for them all, nonetheless. Then I had Emily 3 days later.

The next day, "Sally" came to visit me in the hospital and to see Emily. It was clear, though, that something was wrong because she could barely hold back the tears. She ended up crying and telling my that her grandson was back in the hospital, at 4 days old, having had one complete blood transfusion and another one was a possibility. They didn't know what was wrong with him, but his life was definitely in danger. He had been released from the hospital with nothing more than a case of jaundice. Needless to say, everyone was shocked to see his life hanging in the balance.


Enter the 2x4:

Fast forward to Wednesday night..."Sally's" grandson has severe brain damage, Cerebral Palsy, most likely is deaf, has vision problems, is still having very serious seziures several times a day, cannot eat without a feeding tube and cannot even swallow his own saliva without choking. He is 22 months old and still cannot even hold up his own head. He will never walk, probably will never talk; he may never be able to communicate period.

I talked with "Sally" after practice for quite a while. She and her daughter had just gotten back from a children's hospital in Milwaukee after having had her grandson admitted for 5 days. (It was supposed to be a one day appointment.) "Sally" let the tears flow as she told me his update. He is now on very serious medications with terrible side effects (he hasn't slept more than 4-6 hours total in about that many days and when he is awake he screams), he has severe breathing issues, he needs several surgeries and he is at very high risk of dying if he has to have general anesthesia. The doctors told "Sally" and his mom that they needed to make some decisions now about the quality of life they wanted for him because someday he would have to be put on a ventilator to sustain his life. The worst part of all came when the doctor told them that he will likely have a shortened life span. All in all, the last 2 years have been filled with horrible, heart-breaking news and diagnosis, each one worse than the last.

As I stood talking with "Sally" (whose husband just also had a heart attack 2 weeks ago) it became so apparent that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have a healthy, happy strong baby girl who can do anything she wants to do. So what if she can't talk yet? Someday she will. So what if she throws a temper tantrum? At least she has control over her body. So what if she won't sit in a shopping cart? At least she can sit upright. In the proper perspective, everything is easier to handle.

So, instead of writing a post, complaining about my "challenging" child (and I now write that sarcastically), I'm writing to ask my praying readers to lift up little Kayden (that is his real name) in prayer. I don't even know how to pray for him myself, but God is very familiar with this little guy, so He will know what to do. Pray also for his family. He has a wonderfully supportive and loving family, but the constant health battles and 24/7 care is so demanding and difficult. They are wearing down emotionally and physically and they need strength and prayer as well.

And then, when you're done praying for Kayden, say a prayer of thanks for your health and your kid's health.