Mama-Bear Syndrome

Today Emily and I went to the mall, partly to get out of the house, partly because I have B-day money to spend, and mostly because I need to start doing some Christmas shopping.

So anyhow, as is typical of our mall outings, we always end up in the play area. Usually there are 3-4 other kids there at any given time, often in the toddler range, sometimes older. Today, there were probably 20+ kids, mostly Em's age and younger. It was quite crowded and most of the kids belonged to a group of 3 moms who decided to park their large strollers in the entrance/exit and then sit in front of the strollers, completely blocking access in or out. There are comfy couch-like seats all around the play area where most (normal) parents sit, but as quickly became apparent, these moms weren't really concerned with proper etiquette.

Before I go on, allow me to characterize these women for you. All were dressed in the most fashionable Gap (or similar) clothing, had the most expensive purses and diaper bags, the most trendy strollers and jewelry and all of their (many) children were little mini-fashionistas.

Now lest you get the idea that I am jealous, think again. I could shop at the Gap (and do from time to time). I could have exactly what they have, but I don't really care about the latest trends, so I don't. I care more about Emily and more about how she acts than how she looks.

And this is where the Mama-bear instinct comes in....the worst offender in the above mom description had at least 4 boys, one of whom was brandishing a long sword the entire time. This wouldn't have bothered me that much if there were 3-4 kids playing there, or even if mom had been paying attention, but since neither scenario was the case, it was just a major menace as he ran around the area hitting people and generally being too wild. Then, the same child, who was playing with his little group of friends apparently couldn't be bothered to include anyone else. Emily, our little "friend to all" wanted to play and asked if she could, only to be told that she was in the way and bothering them. Then, to top it all off, the sword-brandishing boy came over to where I was sitting (a few feet from the 3 moms) and loudly told me, while pointing his finger at Emily, that "she was bothering them and they didn't like her and didn't want to play with her and that she had to leave them alone". He told this to me...her MOM. What nerve! I pretty much ignored his little tyrade and then quietly told Emily that he wasn't being very nice and that she should just go play with some of the other kids.

Then later, I was helping Em climb out of something in the play area and I quietly told her that I didn't want her climbing in it anymore (since you're not really supposed to be inside it anyway). Well, the same little brat (I mean boy) loudly told me that "I can do whatever I want to do!". Again, what nerve to mouth off to someone else's mom. I wasn't talking to him, and I told him that and then we walked away.

What is wrong with kids today? Oh wait...maybe it's parents who are so self-absorbed that they care more about appearances than character. Maybe it's a problem with parents who care more about fitting in with their friends than paying attention to their kids and taking the time to correct bad behavior. Maybe the problem lies in a culture that tells parents and educators that kids should be able to decide things for themselves, the consequences be darned. Perhaps it's the ridiculous propping up of self-esteem and praise for absolutely nothing that makes kids believe that they "can do whatever they want" and don't have to answer to anyone or be in submission to any authority.

Perhaps what's wrong with kids lies in the parents.

I'm not a happy Mama bear today. I couldn't protect her tender feelings, but I could teach her that we don't act like that because it's not nice, it hurts other people and it's rude. Somehow, I'm pretty sure little sword-boy hasn't ever heard that lesson, nor is he likely to anytime soon.