And still very pregnant.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant, to be exact, and feeling worse than I did at 41+ with Miss Emily. This little guy, as of yet still nameless, is making for one very uncomfy, irritable momma. Once I hit 37 weeks (next Wednesday), I'm serving him his eviction notice. He will officially be full term and therefore, if labor were to spontaneously begin, the doctors would no longer try to stop it. I say, bring it on!
These days, I feel like I need the electric lift chairs you see in the homes of the elderly to help boost me out of my recliner. The same goes for a bed, though I don't know if they make those. And speaking of bed, I cannot sleep. Yes, some of that is the normal late-pregnancy discomforts, but I could get past those, were it not for the 3 week allergy/sinus/virus of some sort that has given me a constant sore throat and a stuffy nose, which impedes my ability to breathe. Since I can't breathe properly through my nose, I sleep with my mouth hanging open (a lovely sight, I'm certain) which then makes my throat hurt like I am trying to swallow shards of glass. This wakes me up. Sometimes I go prop up in the twin bed in the baby's room, but I've never been able to sleep propped up, so eventually when my throat starts to feel better, I'll lay back down again...only to be awakened by my own snoring. The snoring is actually my desperate attempt to breathe as my nose is too stuffed and my mouth is closed in an attempt to preserve my throat.
Then there are the nights when it hurts to lay on my right side. Technically, the left side is supposed to be the ideal position for sleeping while pregnant. I don't have a problem sleeping on my left side, but I do need to flip a few times in the night so that my hips don't protest too much. However, some nights when I lay on my right side, there is a burning/tearing/something-is-ripping type of pain that almost renders me immobile. It's not fun either. Oh, how I long for the day when I have the option of sleeping on my back for a few sweet moments again!
So far, I have remained technically healthy. I say this because I have not experienced any major pregnancy related problems such as high blood pressure, anemia, pre-term labor, etc...but my minor overall health has been rotten. I have zero energy, yet way too much left to do. I am down to less than 4 weeks (I hope and pray no longer than that!) and weekly doctor's appointments. I go in tomorrow to see the fifth or sixth OB in this new practice. So far, while there is nothing wrong with any of the new OB's, I still really miss my old one. It's pretty hard to feel like you are anything more than a number when you only see a doctor for all of 5 minutes every 7 weeks or so. I feel a little more timid in asking questions as well, since each doctor has never met me before and I don't want to appear to be a "difficult" patient (a la Elaine on "Seinfeld").
However, I do feel a lot more apprehensive about the whole labor/delivery thing this time around, which really makes no sense. With Emily, I was excited and absolutely ready in every way to have her. When I did go into labor, to be quite honest, it really wasn't frightening to me at all, even though I had never had so much as a single stitch or broken bone prior to that point. I spent about 70% of the labor at home and might have done more, had the OB not decided to have me come in just to get checked out. Even she was amazed at how far into labor I was at that point and sent me straight over to the hospital, where Miss Em made her appearance about 3 hours later, without the aid of so much as a single Tylenol. I surprised myself with how calm I was and how relatively "easy" the whole process had been.
This time, I find myself wondering if I was just extremely lucky. I'm having a hard time not feeling nervous and I don't really know why. I worry about all the "what if's" like all the things that can go wrong leading up to labor (pre-ecclampsia in particular, since my blood pressure did shoot up AFTER having Emily for a while) or the need for a C-section this time around, which, while not the end of the world, is not desireable either. I even worry about the need for an epidural this time, which frankly scares me more than delivering naturally. I'm not terribly needle-phobic, but come on....they're aiming for the spinal cord here. That terrifies me.
Maybe this is all normal. Maybe I'm a freak of nature. Who knows? All I can say for sure is that I'm ready for this part of the journey to be over and to actually get to see and meet and hold this little nameless bundle of joy.
Here's to hoping that some major progress is being made when I go in for my appointment tomorrow!
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